green eyes before
it startles me

who will tilt my chin up to an angle where he wants me

i cry because i feel confused and       i don't want to feel
certain things i do keep me numb      keep the feelings out
so i do them                you say that's self-destruction
no         they keep me from self-destructing

ASSHOLE
I AM A FUNCTIONAL BEING
I MAKE CONVERSATIONS EVERYDAY
I HAVE MADE NEW FRIENDS
PEOPLE LIKE ME
DO THEY LIKE YOU

a person can be a black hole

a person can belong
in your life and yet
hollow out the present

i want someone who knows how to perform
resuscitation in case        the birds strangle
me to death

let's be friends
really i mean it

you are in all of my poems!

because                     i will always
i can never stop           you don't want me to say it

ryan gosling sang you always hurt the ones you love
the ones you shouldn't hurt at all
referring to himself        but you too

in more functional news

today felt pretty good
we didn't have any classes
did 30min warm-up on the elliptical machine
before jumping into the pool
i haven't swam in two weeks
but i feel stronger
my body feels stronger
i'm swimming faster
i don't have to stop between laps now

i finished the trees the trees yesterday
and bought the hunger games today
feel excited about reading that

four packages to be mailed out tomorrow
i need to get more bubble envelopes
i feel positive about this